5 weeks to go

the stress is getting to me some days, now. forgive the lack of capitilization in this post because i'm writing it from my phone.

sean leaves for bmt 5 weekes from yesterday! the time is really flying and i hope it continues after he leaves. i'm getting nervous about handling so much by myself. not knowing our first station is stressing me out and thinking about a military move really makes my teeth chatter. i know it'll allll be fine and my superwoman powers will kick into gear (:p), but i still need my freak out moments.

i'm anxious to know our first station so i can make school plans. i'm afraid that if i don't get it written in stone that i will be weak and take the easy road. i'm also afraid that i will get baby fever and change my mind. but maybe i should pay attention if i do because we'll have the opportunity for me not to work and so on. ugh. i dunno. i wish i could permanently make that decision, but i feel like i'm too young to nix any chance of future pregnancies. i just wish i could wave a wand and be in school. :(

i'm very thankful for how childcare has worked out. not needing a babysitter makes it much easier. i'm a bit anxious about relying on my mom to make it down here by 5am 3 days a week, but we'll see.

moving stresses me out. military moving is a whole new ballgame for me. i know we'll get more info as we need it, but all the details and things you have to be mindful of send my brain whirling. if anyone can do it, i know i can, but that doesn't mean i don't feel the stress of being on a learning curve.

i seriously have felt like hyperventilating the past few days. pms doesn'tg help. :p i'll be fine...just gotta take it one step at a time. i'm really excited and ready to get this road on the show!

Sean and I went to Saint Augustine, Florida this weekend for a second honeymoon - well, really our first!. It was a wonderful trip. :-) I love going to historical places and this was definitely full of thing to see. We walked around a lot, went to the Castillo de San Marcos, the Mission of Nombre de Dios and the Jacksonville Zoo. The condo we stayed in had a view of the ocean and it was a short walk to the beach. It's so beautiful there and I hope to go back!

I think I'm going to buy some textbooks! Just because I can't go to school yet doesn't mean I can't begin prepping for some of the more challenging classes. Also, I'm still kind of exploring what I want to do, so I think that will help me be more committed to school when the time does arrive.

I'll probably end up doing nursing, but I'm just going through all my options again. Ultimately I want something science related. I just kinda realized that grad school isn't as far away as I previously thought (or at least, is possible sooner) so I'm trying not to limit myself. Granted, a lot of this depends on if Sean makes the air force a career or not. I'll need to stick to something more flexible if he does. I've just really got an itch to go for a highly educated career route and I'm sooo anxious to get started! Nursing is still a very good choice though because if I get my B.S. in that, I can still have a lot of grad school options open to me. Physical therapist, pharmacist, certified nurse midwife and a few others catch my interest. Those each require 3-4 years of grad school. However, I'm also looking at some science careers that aren't on the medical side of things. It's kind of a fresh viewpoint for me even if I think I'll still end up in a medical career. So yeah, I'm going to start brushing up on algebra and going through some biology and anatomy textbooks!

I'm doing well with my running! I ran 3 miles outside yesterday in 27 minutes. Today I ran 6 intervals and kicked those up to 9mph. I was doing 6.7 (2 minutes) to 8.2-8.5 )1 minute), but today I did 7 and 9. Woo woo! I've really just tried to kick myself into gear. It seems that every time I fall into a rut, I never push myself past where I'd previously been. That ends NOW. Time to run harder, faster and longer and truly challenge myself. I'm tired of giving myself permission to slack off!

get out of that rut

I've been in a workout rut for a while now. I'm running pretty regularly, but I'm not really increasing my distance. I have been doing some hill work and increasing my intervals when I do them, but I'm still not getting results. I know the problem is lack of strength training, but I'm not sure how to remedy that because of all the changes my life is going through. I don't want to rely on DVDs because that will be challenging to stick with once Sean is gone.

I really want to switch my focus to strength training. I still want to run 2-4 times per week, but make them more focused and intentional. I'm going to be able to use the gym frequently once Sean is gone because of my new work schedule and Shannon being more cooperative in the nursery. I'd like to really see some body changes by the time I go to his graduation. That gives me 8.5 weeks after he leaves.

I do have a couple concerns. 1. I am the type to build muscle quickly. That is mostly a plus, but unlike many women, I can bulk up easily more than I like. I don't want bulk - especially in the legs where I really 'collect' muscle, lol. I just have a stocky body type. 2. I just don't know what to do! I still feel like a workout n00b and I always feel like I'm doing it wrong, you know? I end up quitting in frustration or never starting because I'm intimidated. I need a buddy to help motivate me or someone to guide me.

brea