so I have 5 minutes to myself....

Well, more than that. ;-) I won't be TOO dramatic. Some days I am lucky to get that though, so I'm taking today with a deeeeep breath of thankfulness.

I won't lie - It's been rough. It is getting easier though. They say it's "uphill" until week four and then times starts going by more quickly. It also gets easier for the trainees at that point, which is probably part of it. It's hard knowing that HE'S having a hard time. He was crying when he called me Sunday. I didn't cry because I wanted so badly to just boost him back up - that's partially why they're allowed calls and letters and such. They NEED that morale support. He NEEDS to know I'm here cheering him on and holding down the fort at home. When I have that motivation, it's pretty easy to be strong. I was so happy to just hear his voice anyway. What's hard? Being practically a single working mom. I have support and help from parents and friends and I'm so grateful for that. But it's hard. Thankfully I'm not as tired this week as I was the last two, but it's still a challenge. It's just constant work. Also, I miss Sean terribly. I really didn't realize that part would be this hard. I'm pretty independent, I'm an introvert and I like to be alone. But my best friend who I've been around day in and day out (minus some short trips) for almost 6 years now is not only away from home, but we can't talk to each other. I write letters, hope for some in return and wait for 10-15 minute phone calls once a week. I'm so glad to be a military wife in the age of technology, but I still just MISS him. It's even hard to go out and do stuff because it makes me feel his absence more sharply. I couldn't make myself go see a movie alone last week because being around all those people without my husband just made me want to cry. On the upside, this is pushing me to personal growth. I'm reaching out in ways (and telling myself it's freaking ok to do so!) that I haven't done before.

Anyway, I wanted to write that down somewhere. I try to stick to my lifelong habit of not complaining (lol), but sometimes you just got to say: THIS SUCKS.